Jen’s Running Commentary (part 1 of 2)

Notes taken during the show but not posted…

Bosnia & Herzegovina

Natalie Portman isn’t known for her singing. Dressed like a chartreuse ballerina, and I don’t know why she has on her hand a giant postage stamp with a grasshopper in it. But, hey, at least all the dry ice means I don’t have to see how she’s dressed anymore. The backup singers are white figure pottery.

Started rough at first – but got bettter as the song went on. Boring song – closing credits to a Bond film.


Well, now the competition begins, and Spain comes on with a high energy performance. All dressed in white, they look like 98 Degrees. Probably could’ve won 5 years ago – except it’s not 5 years ago. Tight, though cheesy choreo. I HEART YOU MI VIDA E A O. Huh?

Plus, there’s a giant rotating triangle on the lights. Shameless plug to the gay contingent. But it sounded like it got a good reception.

Belarus, again 3rd up.

Aw, he’s so dreamy. And the rock pose, feet planted 4 feet apart from them is so very well rehearsed. Seems to me he could take a lesson from Darren Romeo; at least he is able to sing in tune and do his magic moves at the same time. Dunno about this one, I picked him to do well, but… it feels a little safe to me.


Oh, god, Ireland – this is gonna be death. Man, she is really flat… terrible. Kill me now.

She sits on every note. Like a fat woman crushing a big tuffet and her ass cheeks are hanging over. Like when a square is sat on and becomes a trapezoid.

Giving the mp3 away isn’t going to help them get votes with as crappy a performance as this. And whipping out the bodhran isn’t going to help either. I stand by my haiku.

England may have competition for 0 points this year.


She’s stolen Slovenia’s outfit.

Feed issues – but I don’t really feel I’ve missed much.

FYR Macedonia

She’s in better voice tonight. Impressively, at one point she’s lifted up by a dancer and doesn’t miss a note. She looks comfortable up there.

Doesn’t change the fact the song isn’t good. But if performances were the only thing that got them into the top 10, she’s in.


This song is like an Olympic theme, I can see the torch being lit… no, wait, that’s just her hand.

The crowd loves her, especially when she goes into opera voice. Some pitchy with some pretty simple intervals, but overall pretty strong performance. Big voice, and it works well in a big arena.


It’s rough to follow Slovenia with a gritty blues song. Most singers would feel a temptation to oversing at the outset to overcome a big operatic number right before, could be trouble. I’m worried that song order could ultimately hurt her. It’s tough, you spend 1 minute of your 3 minutes winning the crowd over.

I get chills on “why did you leave me,” and it leaves the crowd cheering.

I think she won them over, but I don’t think she’ll win.


Yawn. Too many women in a row, and, honey, you do not compare.

Pixie haircut, the rest of the band only gets to be a big shadows on a scrim. She looks nervous.

Again, I have problems with the name and the image. A group with a name “4Fun” should not dress all in black, have shadows, and in general, present a visual image only of black. Drab.


Wow, Greece has the same staging as Turkey. But it is nice to see him being backed up by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and then turned into a maypole.

The song, however, ain’t no Turkey tune. “No lies, she’s the bomb” Do people use that slang anymore?

The choreo ain’t nothin to write home about either. I haven’t seen choreo this bad since DJ Bobo.


Sopho save us!

But, sadly, she’s totally running on adrenaline, and seems to be having less fun than she did in the Semis. She’s trying too hard to project, and it’s too much. Pulling back just a little would’ve helped. I’m hoping, but not sure that top 10 finish I want is possible.

I still don’t care, I love the song.


Ah, good timing for some fluff. However, the lead singer has the same problem as Blake Lewis – dead eyes. Also he’s playing too much to the camera. Again, a lot of black staging this time. Although having him sit and spin on the spiral is a nice touch. Funny, “sit and spin” is about where my thoughts were at.

This performance reminds me of the Scissor Sisters. A LOT.