The Eurovision Song Contest is over for 2011, so it’s time for Eurovision Lemurs to hand out our superlatives. In the spirit of fair play and all that, everyone’s a winner tonight.
- Most pinchable cheeks: Finland (Paradise Oskar – “Da Da Dam”)
- Most SITO: Bosnia & Herzegovina (Dino Merlin – “Love In Rewind”)
- Worst attack by moths: A Friend In London’s Tim Schou’s shirt, Denmark (A Friend In London – “New Tomorrow”)
- Best language change: Lithuania (Evelina Sašenko – “C’est Ma Vie”)
- Most delicious wearable plum tart: Hungary (Kati Wolf – “What About My Dreams?”)
- Most Jedwardian performance: Ireland (Jedward – “Lipstick”)
- Most palpable sense of relief at the end of the song: Sweden (Eric Saade – “Popular”)
- Poorest understanding of Manhattan street names and landmarks: Estonia (Getter Jaani – “Rockefeller Street”)
- Best save of a really awful song: Greece (Loukas Giorkas – “Watch My Dance”)
- Most learned rapper: Professor Stereo Mike, Greece
- Most indulgent performance, Warsaw Pact edition: Russia (Alexey Vorobyov – “Get You”)
- Wettest squib: France (Amaury Vassili – “Sognu”)
- Most splenderai! Splenderai! Splenderai!: Italy (Raphael Gualazzi – “Madness of Love”)
- Best performance by an American actress: Claire Danes, Switzerland (Anna Rossinelli – “In Love for a While”)
- Worst Graham Norton prediction: “This could be one of the dark horses in the competition” in regards to Switzerland
- Most indulgent performance, NATO edition: United Kingdom (Blue – “I Can”)
- Most annoyed that Blue downplayed the “Oooh” in “I Can,” thus depriving him of being able to hand out the Story of Oooh award: this writer
- Quite maddest performance: Moldova (Zdob şi Zdub – “So Lucky”)
- Best headwear: Zdob şi Zdub, Moldova
- Best tribute to Woody Allen’s “Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)”: Germany (Lena – “Taken By a Stranger”)
- Most annoyingly chipper performance: (TIE) Romania (Hotel FM – “Change”) & Spain (Lucía Pérez – “Que me quiten lo bailao”)
- Biggest voice: Austria (Nadine Beiler – “The Secret Is Love”)
- MILFiest performer: Nikki, Azerbaijan
- JLOiest performer: Nikki, Azerbaijan
- Most likely to get there, popular: Azerbaijan, as it turns out (Ell & Nikki – “Running Scared”)
- Best use of the staging that Azerbaijan should have used for Safura: Slovenia (Maja Keuc – “No One”)
- Most creepily prescient lyrics: Iceland (Sjónni’s Friends – “Coming Home”)
- Best Ricky Gervais impersonator: Matti Matt from Sjónni’s Friends, Iceland
- Best use of a gimmick to distract you from a mediocre song: Sand artist Kseniya Simonova, Ukraine
- Song most likely to become a “Crystal Light” advertisement: “Angel” by Ukraine’s Queen of Soundtracks, Mika Newton
- Most distracting LED graphics: Serbia (Nina – “Čaroban”)
- The Austin Powers Yeah Baby award for swankest performance: Nina, Serbia
- Most likely to make the Mortal Kombat soundtrack: Georgia (Eldrine – “One More Day”)
- Most interesting array of noses: Eldrine, Georgia