Denmark’s Eurovision 2013 Entry

Judging from the segments where the Dansk Melodi Grand Prix hosts interview Eurovision legends Johnny Logan (Ireland), Brotherhood of Man (United Kingdom) and Herreys (Sweden), Denmark really wants to win it this year. So they did the logical thing: shamelessly steal from Ireland.

Countries of Eurovision, you’re on notice.  If we hear one more penny whistle we’re going to lose it.

“Only Teardrops” is power ballad about, well, who really knows what. Maybe it’s about failed relationships, but the use of drums and Emmelie de Forest’s wardrobe choice of rags and mussed up hair (think Cosette in the Les Miserables logo) makes it read political. We roll our eyes, because this form of pretentiousness is SO Sinead O’Connor. We despise Emmelie’s Cranberries-inspired vocal affectations. It’s a shame really, because she’s a good singer and we like her alto tonality.

And, girl, put some shoes on. And go brush your hair. AND GET OFF OUR LAWN!