Latvia’s Eurovision 2018 Entry

Generally, we try to be level-headed and even-handed when we review songs. But sometimes we have to throw all that out the window, because a song comes along that infuses us with seething, irrational rage. Let’s talk about Laura Rizzotto and “Funny Girl.”

What is this? It’s vaguely bluesy, sung by someone who wants to be Alicia Keys, except that she’s not. She brings nothing to “Funny Girl,” no soul, no heartache, nothing. To that point, we don’t have any interest in her back story because she’s given us so little to react to. What results is jazzy in a cabaret sort of way, which means it completely lacks depth. It’s all artifice. That she wrote this for herself boggles the mind because it sounds like a dated song picked out of the back of a record label’s dusty old file cabinet so she could audition for a Broadway show.

And the arrangement is horrible. It’s plodding and dull and it mistakes empty space for deepness. It’s boring and repetitive. It’s awful. Awful.