National Final Season in Review 2019: Our Favorite Songs

Let’s face it: summertime may be nice for a lot of reasons, but it is the utter doldrums for Eurovision fans. Sure, you can wait with bated breath over the next twist in the search for a host city. Or, if you’re lucky, the EBU will announce which U.S. broadcaster has snatched up the American rights to the Song Contest in the latest vain attempt to make Eurovision a mainstream thing in the States. Otherwise, all we can do is compile wishlists of acts that we would love to see at Eurovision and endlessly replay performances from the most recent year gone by.

That’s why we have rummaged through our notes and revisited the songs from the national finals that we highlighted with enthusiastic asterisks. Do the songs that struck us as hidden gems in March still shine brightly in the July sun? Or were they just fool’s gold that only glittered in a national final that was covered in the mud of mediocrity?

As it turns out, we’ve already covered a few of our favorite songs elsewhere on the site, so we’ll just link to our original posts:

“2000 and Whatever” is our absolute favorite song this year, but running second is Silvàn Areg’s “Allez Leur Dire.” He and co-writer Doutson originally called their song “Le Petit Nicolas” after the children’s book series, but the copyright owners of the books didn’t appreciate the shout-out. Between the Destination Eurovision semifinal and final, Silvàn changed the song title to “Allez Leur Dire.” But he kept the delightful, and delightfully low-tech, staging inspired by the books. The result is probably the most unapologetically French song you will hear this year.

Swedish singer Mohombi had a platinum hit in Europe with his 2010 single “Bumpy Ride.” He entered Melodifestivalen this year with the charming pop confection “Hello.” The song and the staging weren’t particularly ground-breaking, but the total package was a lot of fun. “Hello” will likely be one of those songs that randomly pops up in our heads years from now.

The first thing we noticed when Leea Nanos began her performance at Australia Decides was that she was an inexperienced stage performer. That was to be expected as she is just sixteen. But the next thing we noticed was that her song “Set Me Free” was really good. Give her some more time in front of a big live audience and show her how to smize and she could be great.

We admit that we didn’t expect much of Ivan Kurtić when he hit the stage at Beovizija 2019. He may look like a bouncer at a Belgrade river club, but he is a heckuva singer. “Bela” reminded us of our favorite Željko Joksimović ballads, and it had a bouncy, vibrant orchestration that gave Ivan room to maneuver.

We’re big fans of k.d. lang, so that may be why Fed Horses caught our attention at EMA 2019.Ti Ne Poznaš Konjev” sounds like something out of k.d.’s back catalog, if she ever did an album where side two was entirely in Slovenian. It operates in the same space as this year’s Latvian entry “That Night‎,” but Fed Horses gives their song a grandness and a sense of scope that Carousel’s song lacked.

Is it cliché for a Eurovision blog to include two Swedish songs in its list of faves? Yes, it is, but we don’t mind being clichéd. The Lovers of Valdaro did not made it out of their Melodifestivalen heat, probably because our household seems to be the primary market for their song “Somebody Wants.” It has a lot of stuff we love: mid-era Pet Shop Boys orchestration, neo-disco flair, and rich, thumping bass lines. It’s far from perfect, we’ll forgive it because they wrote it just for us.

 

National Final Season in Review 2019: Our Favorite WTF Moments

It has been a good year for those of us who collect WTFery from the national finals. We had a tingly feeling about 2019 the moment we heard that the United Kingdom’s 2006 representative Daz Sampson had teamed up with a singer named Nona to enter the Belarus pre-selection with a song called “Kinky Boots.”

Lest we were worried about peaking too soon, Lithuania topped “Kinky Boots” and then some with Banzzzai’s ultimate masterpiece of self-aware obliviousness, “I Don’t Care.” The love child of Psy and Anri Jokhadze, Banzzzai heard that old inspirational quote, “Dance like no one is watching,” and added ninjas to it. Plus he had a flashing neon milkshake and he scatted. It was fabulous.

France gave us Battista Acquaviva’s “Passio.” Imagine if Enigma wrote “La Forza” and you have a sense of how “Passio” sounded. That couldn’t prepare you for the live performance. Battista’s vocal was wispy and thin and her stage presence was stiffer than the main characters at the end of Reservoir Dogs. She was joined by shirtless guys doing calisthenics, which seemed gratuitous. We appreciated the eye candy anyway. France 2 has inexplicably pulled all of the Destination Eurovision videos off of YouTube, so we’re not entirely sure we didn’t dream this.

Updated 7/3/2019: Eric Graf has helpfully linked to a video of “Passio” in the comments, confirming that was no dream!

Heading up to Denmark, Teit Samsø’s “Step It Up” would have been uncomfortably sleazy in the best of circumstances. But Teit’s oily performance gave us the effect of a drunk uncle hitting on his niece while chaperoning her to her junior prom.

We whined all this year about how Eesti Laul had lost its spark, but that doesn’t mean the Estonia national final was completely devoid of colorful weirdness. Kaia Tamm’s entry “Wo sind die katzen?” was probably the best song ever about how Alice In Wonderland is a metaphor for Schrödinger’s cat and vice versa.

And Eurovision Lemurs favorite Jaan Pehk returned to Eesti Laul with Cätlin Mägi to perform “Parmumäng.” The staging featured Jaan’s head transposed onto a rack of mouth harps. This is only slightly less odd than it sounds, and the song sounded awesome live. Keep coming back, Jaan!

Speaking of songs that were brilliant and bizarre at the same time, let’s end in Latvia. Is there a more joyful expression of feeling like an outcast than Dzili Violets and Kozmens’ goofy and relentlessly catchy “Tautasdziesma?” The staging only really makes sense if you’ve seen the official video. Then again, making sense wasn’t really a part of the plan. Kozmens, the guy with the kilt and the spectacular mustache, is the man behind WTF mainstay Riga Beaver. “Tautasdziesma” is a worthy addition to his already notable Supernova legacy.

The 2019 Eurovision That Almost Was: Semifinal Two

You would think that our review of the Semifinal Two that might have been would have been easy given that eight of the countries listed here went for internal selections. But spend some time contemplating “Tower of Babylon” and you may understand the enormity of the task we are undertaking.

Armenia: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Ireland: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Moldova: Maxim Zavidia – “I Will Not Surrender

“I Will Not Surrender” is a moderately rocking pop number about believing in yourself. It’s made special by the fact that Maxim is dressed like a Star Wars character yearning to break free from the corporate job he got on Coruscant.

Switzerland: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Latvia: Markus Riva – “You Make Me So Crazy

This is Markus’ sixth attempt to represent Latvia at Eurovision and “You Make Me So Crazy” is one of his stronger efforts. Unfortunately for him, he had the best dance anthem out of several others on offer at Supernova and everyone in Latvia voted for the song that did not sound like a dance anthem.

Romania: Laura Bretan – “Dear Father

Laura is a 17-year-old who has already won Romania’s Got Talent and finished sixth on America’s Got Talent. She does a Houdek in “Dear Father,” going from pop voice to operatic soprano at the song’s climax. We think it’s pretty awful, so we’re not complaining too much that TVR gave their international jury way too much say in determining the winner of their national final.

Denmark: Julie & Nina – “League of Light

“League of Light” is a real missed opportunity. Julie & Nina are from Greenland and they spiced up their bland schlager song with some lyrics in Greenlandic. It operates in the same space as KEiiNO’s “Spirit In the Sky,” except that “Spirit In the Sky” goes all in while “League of Light” just checks on the flop. As much as it pains us to say this, “Love Is Forever” was the right choice to represent Denmark.

Sweden: Bishara – “On My Own

Bishara is a 16-year-old singer who is performing a song that is way more mature than his immature voice and angelic looks can carry off. Not surprisingly, “On My Own” is by Benjamin Ingrosso, who knows a lot about singing songs that are uncomfortable fits for their performer.

Austria: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Croatia: Lorena Bućan – “Tower of Babylon

Oh wow. If you thought that the only thing missing from mid-’00s mid-table Eurovision pop entries were vaguely Middle Eastern-influenced orchestrations, then have we got a song for you! Lorena sells it for all it is worth, though, which just makes it all the more wonderful.

Malta: Owen Leuellen – Song internally selected.

Owen covered “Gangsta’s Paradise” during X Factor Malta. He also rhymed “Picasso,” “lost bro,” and “not slow” with “Ira Losco” in the finale. Honestly, he’s kinda delightful. Maybe a bit wack, but kinda delightful.

Lithuania: Monika Marija – “Light On

As much as we like it when Jurijus peers deep into our soul, we had been rooting for Monika to win the Lithuanian national final. “Light On” has a bit more of a lyrical edge to it than “Run with the Lions,” and Monika delivered a big performance that could have been honed to near perfection by the time she arrived in Tel Aviv.

Russia: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Albania: Lidia Lufi – “Rrëfehem

“Rrëfehem” starts off sounding like weird fado. Then it gets all Albanian orchestral metal. Then Mike Pompeo shows up to do a big-ass sax solo at the end. It’s really odd, which is something we seem to say about Festivali i Këngës also-rans every year.

Norway: Adrian Jørgensen – “The Bubble

Adrian and his guitar evoke Ed Sheeran via Michael Schulte.  Saying that probably doesn’t give “The Bubble” enough credit for being a pretty good folk-pop song, but let’s be honest: it’s not “Spirit In the Sky,” is it?

The Netherlands: Internal selection. Not applicable.

North Macedonia: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Azerbaijan: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Germany: Makeda – “The Day I Loved You Most

If S!sters performed an overwrought show tune at Unser Lied, Makeda performed an overwrought cabaret number. She over-sang it by a country mile, so we suspect Germany’s Eurovision fate was sealed from the get-go.

Italy: Ultimo – “I tuoi particolari

“I tuoi particolari” has a really simple chorus that frequently gets stuck in our heads, but after while it feels like Ultimo is yelling at us within our own brains. Not cool, Ultimo, get out of our skulls!

United Kingdom: No 2nd place announced. Not applicable.

As usual, the BBC never released the voting tallies for You Decide. It’s basically one more thing to be annoyed about when thinking about how the BBC handles its Eurovision entry year in and year out.

The 2019 Eurovision That Almost Was: Semifinal One

We had some serious questions at the end of this year’s first Semifinal: Did anyone want to qualify? Would MARUV been any better if Ukraine hadn’t pulled out? And were there better songs everyone could have sent?

We will never know the answers those first two questions, but we can imagine the answer to the third one by looking back at the also-rans from the national final season. We are also looking at the Big Six entries who voted in Semifinal One since Eurovision shows clips of their jury performances during the interval while the EBU rushes to declare a valid result without necessarily paying attention to which jurors clearly screwed up their ballots.

Cyprus: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Montenegro: Ivana Popović-Martinović – “Nevinost

“Nevinost” is a standard issue ballad from the Balkan peninsula. It doesn’t have as much personality as Ivana does, so we’d love to see her come back with a song that has a bit more pizzazz.

Finland: Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman – “Superman

To be honest, there wasn’t a lot of difference between the three songs on offer at UMK 2019. If you can remember how “Look Away” sounded, you can guess how “Superman” sounded.

Poland: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Slovenia: Raiven – “Kaos” 

We are still irrationally angry about this. Let’s just move on.

Czech Republic: Jakub Ondra – “Space Sushi

If this hadn’t finished second in the Czech Republic’s voting, we’d be considering it for our WTF posts. It’s an odd little Mrazy number with a nonsensical chorus that we think is about believing in yourself. It’s kind of mesmerizing in its goofiness.

Hungary: Acoustic Planet – “Nyári zápor

As usual, Hungary hasn’t released the final A Dal televote tallies. However, Acoustic Planet finished second with the jury, so we’ll go with them. You can probably figure out how they sound by the name of their band. It’s the type of bland pop song that you’d expect to hear on the soundtrack to a mid-90s dramedy about someone visiting their parents for the first time in a decade. Specifically the scene where they drive up to the family home just after a picturesque New England snowfall.

Belarus: BLGN & Mirex  – “Champion

What happens when you cross JOWST with ZIBBZ? You get BLGN & Mirex, and it’s not too shabby! Maybe it’s a bit mealy in execution, but Mirex is a pretty good vocalist and has a pretty good stage presence. It’s easy to understand why “Champion” lost to “Like it,” but we still enjoyed it.

Serbia: Dženan Lončarević – “Nema suza

“Nema suza” is a maudlin ballad with a very mawkish anti-war staging. Not to belittle the message, but it was like getting hit on the head with a hammer made of yarn.

Belgium: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Georgia: Liza Kalandadze – “Sevdisperi zgva

Liza Kalandadze is a striking, charismatic vocalist who was paired up with a twee, ethereal ballad. It’s not necessarily a bad combination, but we can’t imagine “Sevdisperi zgva” would have changed Georgia’s fortunes this year.

Australia: Electric Fields – “2000 and Whatever

Die hard Eurovision fans tuning into Australia’s first national final had a definite favorite going into the show. Electric Fields are a dance-pop duo lead by an absolute superstar of a vocalist in Zaachariaha Fielding. “2000 and Whatever” is an anthemic dance song with a unique vocal sound and it’s the perfect song to get you fired up before you head off to work or the gym.

As much as we would have loved for Electric Fields to represent Australia, we were also realistic about their chances. They came out and did a concert staging for “2000 and Whatever.” Then Kate Miller-Heidke did a Eurovision staging for “Zero Gravity.” She had the full package and she was the overwhelming choice to represent Australia. But we’re grateful we had the chance to be introduced to Electric Fields and you should totally buy their EP Inma.

Iceland: Friðrik Ómar – “Hvað ef ég get ekki elskað?

Iceland had been struggling to qualify for the Grand Final for the past few years because they usually sent the type of song Friðrik was proffering. Better to take the big risk than to play it safe yet again.

Estonia: Uku Suviste – “Pretty Little Liar

In our view, this year’s Eesti Laul final this year was lackluster. “Pretty Little Liar” is about as memorable musically as “Storm,” but without the cheesy special effects or Stig Rasta’s name in the credits.

Portugal: NBC – “Igual a Ti

“Igual a Ti” sounds like the theme song from a modern western, and NBC sells it for all it is worth. It’s pretty good, but the whole package obviously lacked the utter uniqueness of Conan Osíris and “Telemóveis.”

Greece: Internal selection. Not applicable.

San Marino: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Spain: Maria – “Muerdeme

Rumor on Twitter was that Maria didn’t really want to go to Tel Aviv. If that’s true, it kind of explains her indifferent performance. It’s like she was still at dress rehearsal. Also, the staging could have benefited from the old Coco Chanel adage of removing one thing. We’re thinking of the malt shop counter, which Ireland later picked up at a Madrid thrift store. It’s such a bummer because “Muerdeme” is a really fun song.

France: Seemone – “Tous Les Deux

Seemone’s appearance at this year’s Destination Eurovision marked the arrival of a potential major talent in French music. Imagine Adele as a  chanson singer and you can begin to get a sense of what she brought. Annoyingly, the Destination Eurovision YouTube channel has been stripped of its performance videos, but we figure it’s only a matter of time before we see Seemone representing France at Eurovision.

Israel: Ketreyah – Song internally selected.

Ketreyah is an Ethiopian-Israeli singer who was solidly the second place finisher in Israel’s Next Star for Eurovision competition. She’s a likable enough performer, but let’s be honest: regardless of his ultimate fate at Eurovision, Kobi Marimi was kind of the perfect person to represent Israel on home soil.

Highlights from 2019

It’s time once again for us to look back at the 2019 Eurovision Song Contest to pick out the most delectable moments of the year.

Eurovision Lemurs Seal of Approval

Eurovision Lemurs Seal of ApprovalEver since we started compiling our highlights, we’ve always had a category for Legitimately Good Song. We’ve also always sort of regretted calling it that because Eurovision has a ton of legitimately good songs, and what we really wanted to do is highlight something special.

So we’ve changed the category to the Eurovision Lemurs Seal of Approval, which we will affix to the song that truly captured our hearts. We came up with the idea for a Seal of Approval in 2017 when we reviewed “Occidentali’s Karma,” then never used it again. This year seemed like a good time to bring it back.

The main rule is that it has to be a song that the entire Lemurs household agrees is awesome. So without further ado…

For Our Consideration

Azerbaijan: Chingiz – “Truth”
Czech Republic: Lake Malawi – “Friend of a Friend”
Greece: Katerine Duska – “Better Love”
Italy: Mahmood – “Soldi”
Malta: Michela Pace – “Chameleon”
The Netherlands: Duncan Laurence – “Arcade”

Our Pick: Italy.


“Soldi” is incorporates hip hop influences into a contemporary Italian pop sound. It gives us something to clap along with, but it makes us work for it: it’s tempting to clap one beat too early. The chorus is underpinned with a simple, but sexy bassline. And Mahmood infuses it with star power and an appropriate touch of melancholy. It’s a stunning song.

By the way, we don’t want to take anything away from “Arcade,” which we think is another great achievement in songwriting and performance. This year’s Song Contest has seen arguably the best one-two finishers in its long history, and we can’t wait to see how these two songs help push next year’s artists forward.

Biggest Misfire

For Our Consideration

Germany: S!sters – “Sister”
Greece: Katerine Duska – “Better Love”
Romania: Ester Peony – “On A Sunday”
United Kingdom: Michael Rice – “Bigger Than Us”

Our Pick: Greece.

We adore “Better Love,” and we thought it had top 10 finish written all over it. But it was hard to ignore the whole package Greece presented. Katerine was decked out in a baroque costume that for all intents and purposes confined her. She never looked at the cameras but instead seemed to be staring at something interesting happening just off to the side. And in the Grand Final, her vocal gave out. Such a shame because we know we will be cranking this one a lot over the summer.

Least Self-Aware

Our Pick: None.

In theory, we should be giving this award to Serhat and San Marino. Yet it’s hard for us to argue that they are not aware of what they are doing. San Marino is using Serhat to cultivate for itself a cult following among the Eurovision die hards. Serhat is using San Marino to establish an international singing career that otherwise might never have been. And they comfortably qualified for the Grand Prix Final and finished 10th in the televote. Who are we to deem that they don’t know what they’re doing? That said…

Campiest Performance

For Our Consideration

Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke – “Zero Gravity”
Croatia: Roko – “The Dream”
Iceland: Hatari – “Hatrið Mun Sigra”
Norway: KEiiNO – “Spirit In The Sky”
San Marino: Serhat – “Say Na Na Na”

Our Pick: San Marino.

The way Serhat rasps, “We can take it slowly” when he sings “Say Na Na Na” is the most cringingly funny thing we saw at Eurovision this year. It brought the house down at our party.

Biggest Diva Performance

For Our Consideration

Albania: Jonida Maliqi – “Ktheju tokës”
Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke – “Zero Gravity”
Cyprus: Tamta – “Replay”
North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska – “Proud”
Poland: Tulia – “Pali się (Fire of Love)”
Serbia: Nevena Božović – “Kruna”

Our Pick: North Macedonia.

Tamara Todevska gave a bravura performance of “Proud.” She crafted the story she wanted to tell beautifully, drawing viewers in and holding their attention through the very last note. There is a damned good reason why she was the actual winner of the actual jury vote.

Eurovision 2019 Superlatives

It has been an amazing year for Eurovision and we’re kind of sad to see it come to an end for another year. Thankfully, the EBU had some jury errors to correct to keep the magic going a little longer.

As always, we like to help ease everyone’s post-Eurovision depression with our own awards to each and every finalist. Maybe this is just the fillip the United Kingdom needs to stop simultaneously feeling sorry for itself and thinking the world revolves around it!

Best Apple iPod Ad: Malta
Michela Pace – “Chameleon”

Best Attempt to Bring Back Gold Accessories: Albania
Jonida Maliqi – “Ktheju tokës”

Best Friend of a Friend of a Friend of a Friend of a Friend of a Friend:
Czech Republic

Lake Malawi – “Friend of a Friend”

Best Come Hither: Czech Republic
Lake Malawi – “Friend of a Friend”

Best Audition to Become Latisse Spokespeople: Germany
S!sters – “Sister”

Best Number from Anchorman! The Musical: Russia
Sergey Lazarev – “Scream”

Most Surprising Tribute to Tears for Fears’ Songs From the Big Chair: Denmark
Leonora – “Love Is Forever”

Most Essential Addition to Every National Broadcaster’s Classic Eurovision Camp Clip Package: San Marino
Serhat – “Say Na Na Na”

Best Way to Take Pride In Your Country’s New Name: North Macedonia
Tamara Todevska – “Proud”

Winner of the Jury Vote. Actual *WINNER* of the Actual Jury Vote:
North Macedonia
Tamara Todevska – “Proud”

Best Excuse to Quit Your Job in D.C. and Move to Sweden: Sweden
John Lundvik – “Too Late For Love”

Most Stubborn Refusal to Acknowledge the Cameras: Slovenia
Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl – “Sebi”

Best Madonna Performance: Cyprus
Tamta – “Replay”

Best Internal Monologue While Playing Atari’s E.T. the Extraterrestrial:
The Netherlands

Duncan Laurence – “Arcade”

Ouch!

Best Party Like It’s 1799: Greece
Katerine Duska – “Better Love”

Best Performance by Sacha Baron Cohen as Freddie Mercury: Israel
Kobi Marimi – “Home”

Best Tutorial on How to Find Your Spirit Animal: Norway
KEiiNO – “Spirit In The Sky”

Most Misguided Assumption That People Somehow Vote Against You at Eurovision: United Kingdom
Michael Rice – “Bigger Than Us”

The Krista Siegfrids Award for Greatest Paragon of Restraint and Subtlety:
Iceland

Hatari – “Hatrið Mun Sigra”

Best Entry Point Into the Wonderful, Mysterious World of BDSM (Because Eurovision Is a Family Show): Iceland
Hatari – “Hatrið Mun Sigra”

Most In Need of a Word to Rhyme with “This”: Estonia
Victor Crone – “Storm”

Most Ironic Song Title Given How It Finished: Belarus
Zena – “Like It”

Best Tribute to Elon Musk’s Twitter Timeline: Azerbaijan
Chingiz – “Truth”

Best Song by the Lovechild of Conchita Wurst and Krystle Carrington: France
Bilal Hassani – “Roi”

Best Bassline Ever at Eurovision: Italy
Mahmood – “Soldi”

Best Calling of Corners: Serbia
Nevena Božović – “Kruna”

Best Representation of the Plot to Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights: Switzerland
Luca Hänni – “She Got Me”

Best Use of Opera to Subdue Dementors: Australia
Kate Miller-Heidke – “Zero Gravity”

Most Puzzling Puppet Deployment Since Cosmos: Spain
Miki – “La Venda”

Special Bonus Award
Kseniya Simonova award for best use of Kseniya Simonova to distract you from a mediocre song: Moldova
Anna Odobescu – “Stay”

Most likely to get there, popular: The Netherlands, at long last!

Worth the wait!

The State of Our 2019 Predictions

If there is one thing we’ve learned in our years of following the Eurovision Song Contest, it’s that we probably would seem a lot smarter to casual readers if we didn’t make any damned predictions.

Jen:

  1. Australia
  2. The Netherlands
  3. France
  4. Sweden
  5. Iceland
  6. Italy
  7. Switzerland
  8. Russia
  9. North Macedonia
  10. Greece

Last Place: Germany

Chris:

  1. Australia
  2. The Netherlands
  3. Italy
  4. Iceland
  5. Sweden
  6. France
  7. Russia
  8. Greece
  9. Azerbaijan
  10. Malta

Last Place: Germany

Europe:

  1. The Netherlands
  2. Italy
  3. Russia
  4. Switzerland
  5. Norway
  6. Sweden
  7. Azerbaijan
  8. North Macedonia
  9. Australia
  10. Iceland

Last Place: United Kingdom

We actually did pretty good: Chris picked 7 out of 10 and Jen picked 8 out of 10. Compared to last year, it’s a marked improvement.

So why are we a bit disappointed? Neither of us predicted a single exact finish. We both were off the mark on who won. We picked against the winner even though we list the reasons why they would win in our predictions post. And we were really wrong about the picks we missed: Greece finished 21st, Malta finished 14th, and France finished 16th. (It seems like France has replaced United Kingdom as the country we always overvalue.)

We were also wrong about our pick for last place, but we can take pride in the fact that we were also sort of right: Germany got nul points from the public. Vindication, baby!

As mentioned in our recap, seven songs finished in the top 10 in both the televote and the jury vote. Those seven songs roughly matched up to either Jen’s or Chris’ picks and to the top ten in the betting odds going into the live shows, too. We all were mostly on the same page in the end.

In that regard, it was an easy year to call, so maybe we’re just annoyed that we could have done slightly better than we did. We may grumble about all of this now, but we doubt it’s going to stop us from doing it all over again next year.

UPDATED 5/22/2019: As noted by @euro_bruno on Twitter, the Belarussian jury vote on Saturday was a bit messed up. Today, the EBU issued a statement announcing that the error has been corrected, which gives us a new top 10 result:

Jen:

  1. Australia
  2. The Netherlands
  3. France
  4. Sweden
  5. Iceland
  6. Italy
  7. Switzerland
  8. Russia
  9. North Macedonia
  10. Greece

Last Place: Germany

Chris:

  1. Australia
  2. The Netherlands
  3. Italy
  4. Iceland
  5. Sweden
  6. France
  7. Russia
  8. Greece
  9. Azerbaijan
  10. Malta

Last Place: Germany

Europe:

  1. The Netherlands
  2. Italy
  3. Russia
  4. Switzerland
  5. Sweden
  6. Norway
  7. North Macedonia
  8. Azerbaijan
  9. Australia
  10. Iceland

Last Place: United Kingdom

We’ll look into this further to see if it changes any of our analysis beyond the fact that Chris now has an exact pick. If there isn’t another update, just assume we’ve shrugged and just kept on working on our Superlatives post!

Recap of Eurovision Song Contest 2019

Congratulations to The Netherlands, who have won the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time since 1975! To quote one of our Eurovision party guests, “The Dutch Hozier won!”

We were impressed with how well Duncan Laurence connected with the camera during his performance in the Final. He communicated the ache in the lyrics to “Arcade,” but also brought the song to a cathartic, almost joyous close. The Netherlands took a chance with a staging that could have been distancing, but instead captured the loneliness the song was describing while still giving it enough soul to capture voters’ hearts. Duncan finished second with the public and third with the jury, and that was exactly what he needed to win.

The fun part about the way the votes were presented this year is that even the casual viewers came away knowing exactly which songs resonate with the public and which resonate with the juries.

For example, San Marino finished 10th in the televote and 23rd in the jury vote. What a disparity! When we mentioned this to our son, he said, “I hate the public vote. In my opinion, the public vote ruins Eurovision!”

Czech Republic probably agrees with him. Lake Malawi finished 7th with the juries at 150 points and 24th with the public at just 7 points. That was the biggest gap between the two sets of results.

The second biggest gap went the other direction, and if any country has more of a right to complain about the jury results than San Marino, it is Norway. KEiiNO won the televote with 291 points, but only received 47 points to finish 15th with the juries. And we were so looking forward to seeing NRK’s updated clip package of Norway’s last place finishes!

While there were other interesting gulfs, there was also general agreement about the top songs. Seven entries finished in the top 10 of both voting blocs. As mentioned, this benefited “Arcade,” and it also benefited our favorite song, “Soldi.” Seeing Mahmood finish as well as he did, just 27 points behind Duncan, is gratifying. Also, he did better in the public vote than in the jury vote, which amuses us given the results at Sanremo.

On a personal note, we didn’t watch the show live this year because Jen was traveling for work. We hosted our annual Eurovision party on the Sunday instead, and we and our guests were all somehow able to avoid getting spoiled on the result beforehand. We also had the ability to skip ahead, which came in handy when we realized that Madonna’s performance was not going to get any better.

But other than that salient horror, we thought this year’s Song Contest was really good. The quality of music was high, the hosts were slightly cheesy without being overbearing, and the round robin with Conchita Wurst, Måns Zelmerlöw, Eleni Foureira, Verka Serduchka, and Gali Atari was a lot of fun.

We’re already looking up articles about Dutch cuisine to get ready for next year’s Eurovision, but we still have a lot of unfinished business to cover with this year’s Song Contest. Next up, an article about how we did both really well and really badly with our Eurovision predictions! We’re going to need to finish off the last of our Israeli wine to prepare for that post.

Our Predictions: 2019 Grand Final

It’s Saturday, May 18, and the 2019 Eurovision Song Contest still feels like anyone’s competition. Considering at least one of us has trouble picking the winner even when the winner is obvious (*ahemchrisahem*), choosing the champion this year seems daunting.

But we are both in agreement on who we think will take the crown, even though she’s already wearing one.

Jen:

  1. Australia
  2. The Netherlands
  3. France
  4. Sweden
  5. Iceland
  6. Italy
  7. Switzerland
  8. Russia
  9. North Macedonia
  10. Greece

Last Place: Germany

Chris:

  1. Australia
  2. The Netherlands
  3. Italy
  4. Iceland
  5. Sweden
  6. France
  7. Russia
  8. Greece
  9. Azerbaijan
  10. Malta

Last Place: Germany

In the past decade, the Eurovision Song Contest winner has come from as high as 10th in the draw (“Heroes”) and as low as 22nd (“Toy” and “Satellite”).  Of the acts we see as contenders, The Netherlands, France, Italy, and Iceland are performing within that range. Switzerland, Australia, and particularly Sweden and Russia are not.

So we should pick The Netherlands to win. They are still the odds leader going into tonight’s show and they were given about as good a place to perform as they could after drawing into the first half.

And we both would normally count Australia out by going second to last, because audience fatigue usually sets in by then. But we also think that their staging is a triumph. If anyone is flagging towards the end of the show, Kate Miller-Heidke should easily wake them up. She will be fresh in everyone’s minds when the voting opens.

That said, our confidence on our choice is pretty low. We can make rational arguments for every country we picked in our top five, so we would not be surprised if The Netherlands, France, Iceland, Italy, or even Sweden won. But both of our guts say Australia.

We also agree is that Germany is going to finish dead last. They are fourth in the running order with a mediocre song that is not staged particularly well. On their brows we see that written which is Doom.

Eurovision 2019: A Primer for Saturday Night Viewing

It’s time once again for the Eurovision Song Contest! For some reason, Madonna is going perform her new song during the show. But more importantly than that, Verka Serduchka and Conchita Wurst are back as part of an interval act!

But enough about drag icons, let’s answer your questions about this year’s competitors.

Who Are the Contenders?

Duncan Laurence of The Netherlands has led the odds ever since he released his song “Arcade.” It has a striking video that also features a lovely view of his bare tush. But the song is good too!

After the Dutch entry, the betting has been all over the place. Nine other countries have been second-favorite with the bookies over the past couple of months. The spot is currently occupied by Australia. Kate Miller-Heidke has brought a opera-inflected pop song and a spectacular staging that could overshadow The Netherlands’ more straightforward presentation.

Other countries who are in with a shot include France, who have gotten a lot of attention for their androgynous teen star Bilal Hassani. He tackles bullying and acceptance head-on in his song “Roi.”

Mahmood from Italy tells a personal story about his relationship with his father in the hip hop-infused “Soldi.” It’s our personal favorite at this year’s Song Contest.

Sweden’s John Lundvik offers up a ton of charisma with the gospel-tinged “Too Late for Love.” Fun fact: John also co-wrote this year’s United Kingdom entry “Bigger Than Us.”

Sergey Lazarev has returned to represent Russia with another high concept staging involving glass cases of emotion. He also has a song, too, but really it’s about the glass cases of emotion.

Switzerland, of all countries, has gotten a lot of attention so far for Luca Hänni’s “She Got Me,” which is essentially the bro version of last year’s sensation “Fuego.”

Then there is Iceland. There has never been an act like Hatari at Eurovision before. Even Lordi would look at the Icelandic BDSM theatrical anti-capitalist techno-punk band and say, ‘Whoa, that’s out there.” Their song “Hatrið Mun Sigra” (“Hatred Will Prevail”) is gritty, grimy, and catchy as hell. They’ve also been very critical of Israel’s handling of Gaza and the West Bank and keep talking about having a crush on Teresa May, so the possibility of them winning must be giving the European Broadcasting Union fits.

Did Spain Bring a Giant Puppet?

Yes.

Who Are the Teenaged Girls with Pop Bangers?

18-year-old Michela Pace opens the show on Saturday. She won Malta‘s version of The X Factor to book her ticket to Tel Aviv. The slinky, bouncy “Chameleon” is a fresh and fun song, and the staging plays off the title at every opportunity.

The youngest competitor is 16-year-old ZENA. She co-hosted the Junior Eurovision Song Contest when it was held in her native Belarus last year. Her song “Like It” is, well, likable!

Did Denmark Send a Figure Skater to Sing a Song About Peace and Love?

Of course they did.

WE WANT DIVAS!

That’s not a question, but we will answer you anyway. There is a lot of vocal firepower on offer this Saturday. North Macedonia shows off its new name with their first Final since 2012. The song “Proud” may be a bit old-fashioned, but Tamara Todevska brings a lot of drama and grace to it.

Greece chose Katerine Duska as their artist, and she has a gorgeous, rich vocal tone that elevates her song “Better Love.” She would probably be a dark horse contender for the title if Greece’s staging wasn’t so cluttered.

Jonida Maliqi represents Albania with a song about Albanians displaced by the war in Kosovo. It’s a dark song with a dark staging, but Jonida gives it plenty of life.

Returning artist Nevena Božović represents Serbia with the only Balkan-style ballad on offer this year. She single-handedly makes “Kruna” compelling.

Did Norway Bring the Joik-Pop?

Norway most definitely brought the joik-pop. And spirit animals.

Can You Express Your Love for Czech Republic?

You bet we can! Lake Malawi are performing “Friend of a Friend,” a spritely little slice of 80s-era sophisti-pop gussied up with modern tech tropes. They bring charm, rock-concert star power, and a fake British accent to the proceedings and we are thankful for it! How can you not adore a band who has a LinkedIn page? They may not be contenders, but they have won our hearts.

How In the Hell Did San Marino Make It to the Final?

Because there is something inherently wonderful about a former dentist who longs to be a disco crooner and made just enough money hosting the Turkish version of Jeopardy! to make his dreams come true.