With any luck, there will be two nil votes this year. I expect the U.K. to get nil on Saturday. I hope Poland gets nil tonight.
The female singer and dancers start off dancing in a tulip-shaped cage. There’s lots of pyro and a lot of gyrating and that’s all fun. Unfortunately, the song itself is a complete abortion. This makes me feel so sad for Poland because this apparently was the best they had to offer. Dreadful. Dreadfully dreadful. And utter crap, too.
I’m detecting another Eurovision trend: two songs in one. The first, and I’m stealing from Chris here, is a hip hop cover version of “Uncle Fucka.” The second track is the work of someone who has listened ad nauseum to Christina Aguilera’s latest album. Like a true member of the jet set, shuttle diplomacy is performed between the two tracks.
Call me naive and a newbie to this Eurovision thing, but people, people people – less is more.
Monaco (Séverine Ferrer: “La CoCo-Dance”) – Had a Hawaiian theme. Grass skirts and everything. Lame. It was sung in French. [NOTE: Actually, it’s Tahitian. My bad.]
Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (Elena Risteska: “Ninanajna”) – Slutty. The singer, the music, the lyrics. Slutty. Kinda awesome, but only in a Britney Spears way.
Poland (Ich Troje: “Follow My Heart”) – White tails on the piano player. Polish rapping, in a Real McCoy way. The male singer has green hair. The female singer is in a mask. It’s like Andrew Lloyd Webber did a song for Dead or Alive. ‡
† No, it’s a horrible song. What was I thinking?
‡ In a Real McCoy way because it was actually O-Jay from Real McCoy.