Poland

With any luck, there will be two nil votes this year. I expect the U.K. to get nil on Saturday. I hope Poland gets nil tonight.

The female singer and dancers start off dancing in a tulip-shaped cage. There’s lots of pyro and a lot of gyrating and that’s all fun. Unfortunately, the song itself is a complete abortion. This makes me feel so sad for Poland because this apparently was the best they had to offer. Dreadful. Dreadfully dreadful. And utter crap, too.

Poland (Eurovision 2007 Preview)

The Jet Set – “Time to Party”

I’m detecting another Eurovision trend: two songs in one. The first, and I’m stealing from Chris here, is a hip hop cover version of “Uncle Fucka.” The second track is the work of someone who has listened ad nauseum to Christina Aguilera’s latest album. Like a true member of the jet set, shuttle diplomacy is performed between the two tracks.

Call me naive and a newbie to this Eurovision thing, but people, people people – less is more.

Eurovision blogging

I wish I thought of this when the show started. Our story so far:

  1. Armenia (Andre: “Without Your Love”) – Generic Eastern Mediterranean pop. Blah.
  2. Bulgaria (Mariana Popova: “Let Me Cry”) – Stiff singer, decent song, bad back-up dancers.
  3. Slovenia (Anžej Dežan: “Mr Nobody”) – Good song, even if it’s generic Eurotrash discopop. More bad dancing. †
  4. Andorra (Jennifer: “Sense Tu”) – Non-English. Sounded like Vanilla Ninja. Even more bad dancing.
  5. Belarus (Polina Smolova: “Mum”) – Think of a hard-rocking Backstreet Boys with a female singer and ’80s clothing. Plus the back-ups almost dropped the singer when they lifted her.
  6. Albania (Luiz Ejlli: “Zjarr e Ftohtë”) – Ooo, traditional musicans. More generic Eastern Mediterranean pop, though. Not surprisingly, this is not in English.
  7. Belguim (Kate Ryan: “Je T’Adore”) – Ooo, fluorescent pink mike stands! Someone has heard the “Chess” album. Key lyric: “Je t’adore and I can’t conceal it.”
  8. Ireland (Brian Kennedy: “Every Song Is a Cry for Love”) – And every Irish entry is a cry for help. Awful.
  9. Cyprus (Annette Artani: “Why Angels Cry”) – Buxom singer. Flabby pop song.
  10. Monaco (Séverine Ferrer: “La CoCo-Dance”) – Had a Hawaiian theme. Grass skirts and everything. Lame. It was sung in French. [NOTE: Actually, it’s Tahitian. My bad.]
  11. Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (Elena Risteska: “Ninanajna”) – Slutty. The singer, the music, the lyrics. Slutty. Kinda awesome, but only in a Britney Spears way.
  12. Poland (Ich Troje: “Follow My Heart”) – White tails on the piano player. Polish rapping, in a Real McCoy way. The male singer has green hair. The female singer is in a mask. It’s like Andrew Lloyd Webber did a song for Dead or Alive. ‡

† No, it’s a horrible song. What was I thinking?
‡ In a Real McCoy way because it was actually O-Jay from Real McCoy.